He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
