new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
