so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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