you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
