lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize