Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I want is dick and wine.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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