How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
