I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
