My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
