mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
