she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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