so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
