Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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