no, he came in my armpit
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
