The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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