that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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