I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize