Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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