i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
