I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
