the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize