meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
