Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
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just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone