drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
