So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
