it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
