Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize