Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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