So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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