She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
