i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
