Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize