That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
