oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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