So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
