I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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