life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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