I think my vagina is haunted
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
