I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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