You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize