I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
