I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
