Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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