at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
