Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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