Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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