I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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