if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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