Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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