One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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