once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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