dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
