I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
