didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
