we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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