I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
40s are totally the cure
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
