we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
