false alarm. still invincible.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
